I had a pretty interesting conversation with mama LTSL recently – Mr. LTSL and I spent Sunday night at my family’s home, we were on our way back from one of the most beautiful wedding’s I’ve ever been to, instead of hustling back home – we took a load off at Mama & Papa LTSL’s home.
I was exhausted. Mr. LTSL was exhausted – we had an amazing weekend, but our tired eyes and slow moving body told the tale of one phenomenal party, and tons of traveling in a short amount of time. While talking to my mom, she turned to me and she said you look so beautiful.
My mom is always filled with compliments – but I was literally wearing a pair of torn jeans, a little white top, my hair was messy, my eyes tired – no make-up – nothing fancy.
I responded, that I was happy.
And it got me thinking – for my entire life, I’ve been consumed with looking a certain way – acting a certain way – I would be on the constant hunt for acceptance.
For the first time, in a long time I actually feel beautiful. And this feeling has nothing to do with the numbers on the scale, it has nothing to do with the size of the jeans I was wearing, the length of my legs nor the style of my hair. This feeling has everything to do with how often I am laughing, the glow in my smile and sparkle I see in each day. It is the love that I feel and am able to give. It’s the acceptance of life – for all that it is, good – bad – ugly- exciting and scary. It is everything to do with the people in my life, and the happiness that I feel.
It’s the realization, that the acceptance I was looking for – actually came from myself, no one else.