Wisdomist Wednesday : Breathe

While I’ve been baking up a storm and trying to post more often, my Wisdomist Wednesdays have kind of fallen by the waste side.

And there’s a reason for it.

And it’s probably not the best reason…

I think sometimes in life we get to a point where we just don’t want to deal. When I say we … I really just meant me.

I don’t want to deal.

I’m tired. ( this is actually true, physically and mentally)

It’s nothing specific but a lot in general.

I don’t have much to say… I don’t want advice or a shoulder to lean on.

I just want to live .. whatever that means.

Some days I wake up, and I can really focus on all of the good in my life – all that I should be thankful for ( and I am thankful – more than I could ever explain). Some days … its not that easy. Some days the fact that I’ve woken up and gotten out of bed is enough for me – that in and of itself has taken all of my energy and commitment.

Some days, I’m able to laugh from my tummy … other days, that smile you see on my face is as painted as the eyeliner I wear. Ironically, I’ve stopped wearing make up .. unless I’m going out. I’ve tried talking this through. I’ve tried all of the options that come to mind. Someone once told me, this is life – the defining moment when you can weigh the good days, with the not so good days … and the good days tip the scale in your favour.

Some days I look in the mirror and I don’t even recognize who I see any more – both in a good and not so good way. I’m proud of the person I have become professionally, I’m proud of my family values, and the high regard that I hold my friends. But there are things that I see, that no one else sees .. things that I’m not proud of .. things that cause me to question everything I see about me.

Life it’s a funny thing … for now, can I just keep baking, working and trying to refocus?

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I woke up this morning

I’m healthy

I’m employed

There’s food at home, waiting for me to make a hot meal.

My family is safe.

Let’s just start there. For now, for this moment – that’s good enough for me.

Wisdomist Wednesday : Working out

I’ll be honest, I’m not sharing any sort of wisdomist knowledge today … just blabbing a bit.

How many times have I nagged your beautiful faces off about my love hate relationship with working out?!?

Oh, only a zillion times …well … I’m about to do it a zillion and one times.

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I hadn’t worked out for at least 6 weeks … maybe a little bit longer.

First, it was Ramadan and while fasting – I couldn’t keep my eyes open or my energy level high enough to make it through a day of work, there was no way I was about to put the added pressure of working out on my body. Granted, I’m a slightly psycho – but I also don’t desire sending myself to the hospital.

After Ramadan, I decided to jump back in and resorted to my usual work out – Jillian Michaels 30 day shred, level 1 … I’ve been doing level one forever. It kills me, I get the workout I want – it hurts, but doesn’t leave me splattered on the floor like roadrunner. What I completely forgot though, is since I hadn’t been working out for a while – and since my body wasn’t back to it’s normal strength this probably wasn’t the best idea!! Doctors orders – I couldn’t work out for a week.

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Last week, I tried the treadmill … something a little lighter … 40 minutes, 3 times for the week. I DIED. I wasn’t even running … I was frustrated. I am frustrated.

This week, I said ahhh what the heck – I jumped back on the Jillian Michaels train – I’ve done it 2 days now – tonight, I’ll do it again. But HOLY MOTHER of all that is sparkly and sweet … I’m getting destroyed by it. It’s frustrating to think that mentally I’m so ready to work out, I want to … I hate missing my workouts, it’s part of my routine .. I don’t actually love working out, but I love the feeling after. Physically, I don’t know what the heck is going on with my body.

Today, I sit here, SO incredibly sore. My legs are wobbly, my arms can’t go over my shoulders. I’m not complaining, I understand that part of working out, is being sore at times – but it’s definitely discouraging. I understand if I was unwell, or even getting older, but it’s strange to feel that my body isn’t keeping up with my mind.

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Just venting I suppose … and yes, this can totally count as a first world problem. I plan to just stick with in, eventually my body will get re-use to working out and it will all be well and good again – until then, I plan to hobble and smell like an old lady with sports cream ( dear husband, it doesn’t get any sexier than this … sorry😉 ).

I hope you lovely folks are having a great week, I’ll be back sooon with a trashy banana bread ( … and that right there, is why I work out!!)

Wisdomist Wednesday : Enjoy the Simple Moments

I had such a good night last night.

Nothing fancy, nor over the top.

Just my husband, myself, pjs, good food and a movie.

Mr. LTSL and I watched top gun (Watchin’ in slow motion as you turn around and say….. Taaaake my breath aaaawwwwway), had dinner, and just hung out together at home.

It was perfect. We were completely devoid of our phones/ computers / Ipad blah blah blah technology.

It was nice, and also a good reminder that it’s okay to disconnect from the digital world every once in a while. The world won’t stop, you can catch up on twitter / Instagram/ Facebook in the morning.

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Have a lovely day sunshine’s, take a second to recognize the importance of the simple moments of your day xo

Wisdomist Wednesday : Happy Canada’s Day

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Happy 148th Birthday, you beautiful Son-of-a-gun.

As much as I brag about living in my favourite city in the world. Seriously, being Canadian trumps it all.

I couldn’t be more proud of what we stand for as a country.

I couldn’t be more proud, that we’re known for being too kind ( how is that even a thing?!?) and that we have the greatest population of all races and religions. Like any country, yes we have flaws … but the true north strong and free shines, none the less.

Happy Birthday Canada!!

Wisdomist Wednesday : Family

I try my best to be as thankful as possible daily … but today, I’m a little bit more thankful.

Thankful for my family.

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Last week, we had a death in the family overseas … my mom flew out literally as soon as she could. But it was too late. Before boarding she knew she was walking into a disaster zone, she was prepared. She was aware.

Literally an hour before she landed, my uncle passed away. I wish I was there with my mom, I know I couldn’t have changed the situation, but just to hold her; and hold her hand for the entire week. I know this hasn’t been easy for her; to be honest, she was sad that her brother passed away, but before leaving home, she had began preparing herself.

It was the details to follow, the situation at hand, circumstances and pain. It truly is sad. Gathered together, was as much family that could make the trip; prayers have been flowing from all over the world; my uncle’s immediate family is well supported and the prayers will continue for a long time.

I’m terribly worried about my grandpa and how he’s coping with this. How do you come to terms with loosing your eldest child? I’m terribly worried about my other uncles, aunts & cousins. There are truly only a couple things we can do, speak of the good times and pray.

I’m SO HAPPY my mom be home tonight. While we live just about an hour apart, knowing she’s back gives me a sense of peace, she’s back in an arena that I can help support her. I can hold her, comfort her, make her laugh.

Hug your loved ones a little tighter today, tell them you love them as much as you can, appreciate the time you have together.

Wisdomist Wednesday : Inhale – Exhale

 

I hope you lovers are having a snazzy week!!

I have good news to share, I’m starting to feel more and more like myself again. Not like this … or this… orr this; I’ll be honest, one day at a time. I still have random moments, when it’s not cool and I want to ignore the world, curl up in a ball and eat cookies like it’s an Olympic sport. But one of two things have happened; I’ve either learned how to deal with how I’m feeling … or I no longer give a shit about how I’m feeling … ironically, I’m okay with either.

I haven’t done anything to help the situation, I haven’t spoken to anyone … nor found a solution.. I’ve just come to a realization; I actually KNOW what’s been bothering me now. It’s not particularly something I want to talk about …sometimes it’s easier to laugh off the bull shit ( sorry for all the cursing today ..).

I’m ready to be all smiley, again. I’m ready to laugh like I used to. The world can either join in or seriously eff off.. I no longer care.  I’ve changed, yes I know it. Yes, it kind of sucks, but life will do that to you.It will shape you, whether it’s good or bad. It is, what it is.

Ironically, for the longest time, my best friend has been trying to teach me this lesson .. that I should stop caring what the world says or thinks and just make myself happy; bluntly say how I feel, act for myself and not for acceptance. It’s not an easy lesson, I’m a sucker for seeing people smile, at whatever cost it may be.

And soooo my lovebugs … today we shall ;

are those supposed to be lungs? lol

xo

Wisdomist Wednesday : She

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Sometimes in life, you have to make a conscious decision to be happy.

It doesn’t mean you’ve forgiven or forgotten the hurt you’ve felt.

It doesn’t mean you’re settling for what life hands you.

It means you’re taking control.

It means that despite the dirty waters, you’re willing to smile.

It means you have a choice, and you’re deciding to do something positive with it.

Have a good week darlings, we’re half way there!!

…. Also, I have cookies for you come Friday🙂