Wisdomist Wednesday : Family

I try my best to be as thankful as possible daily … but today, I’m a little bit more thankful.

Thankful for my family.

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Last week, we had a death in the family overseas … my mom flew out literally as soon as she could. But it was too late. Before boarding she knew she was walking into a disaster zone, she was prepared. She was aware.

Literally an hour before she landed, my uncle passed away. I wish I was there with my mom, I know I couldn’t have changed the situation, but just to hold her; and hold her hand for the entire week. I know this hasn’t been easy for her; to be honest, she was sad that her brother passed away, but before leaving home, she had began preparing herself.

It was the details to follow, the situation at hand, circumstances and pain. It truly is sad. Gathered together, was as much family that could make the trip; prayers have been flowing from all over the world; my uncle’s immediate family is well supported and the prayers will continue for a long time.

I’m terribly worried about my grandpa and how he’s coping with this. How do you come to terms with loosing your eldest child? I’m terribly worried about my other uncles, aunts & cousins. There are truly only a couple things we can do, speak of the good times and pray.

I’m SO HAPPY my mom be home tonight. While we live just about an hour apart, knowing she’s back gives me a sense of peace, she’s back in an arena that I can help support her. I can hold her, comfort her, make her laugh.

Hug your loved ones a little tighter today, tell them you love them as much as you can, appreciate the time you have together.

Wisdomist Wednesday : Best Friend

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My best friend is getting married this year. I tell you this, because this weekend we’re going away for her bachelorette. I CAN’T WAIT!

SUN, SAND, SEA from Sun rise to Sun Set … this is one of those vacations, that I’ll probably need a vacation post vacation.

For the  of us traveling, I hope this is a chance to do nothing but relax, forget about the worlds worries and live in complete bliss.

Truth be told, there’s no one I know who deserves a happily ever after more than this woman!! It’s her heart … it’s how pure it is, and how badly she wants to see the world in a happy state. It’s how giving she is, it’s how deep she cares for people and how far she will go to make you laugh. It’s her tough advice, it’s her spicy nature and her nonstop dancing.

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For the most selfish reasons ever, I get crazy anxiety attacks when I think about the fact that she’s getting married. I couldn’t be happier for her, I know she will be happy, but I also couldn’t be more scared. She’s precious to me, her love and all that she stands for – I’m scared any of it ever gets taken for granted.

Dear Soon-to-be Mr. Best Friend’s Husband, if you hurt her … you have no idea what you have coming. Seriously. I will destroy you. Be a cool dude; make her laugh; be patient with her; grow with her. You’re getting a piece of me, come august. You guys will lead an amazing life, go on tons of adventures; enjoy every second of it.

Dear Soon-to-be Mrs. Best Friend … I love you dude. I’ll love you forever and not just me, but I know there are many out there that are standing to protect you, support you, laugh at you and with you. I can’t believe in a little over 2 months you’re going to be a wife…. Ewww you’re going to live with a boy!! They’re not so bad. Love him … allow yourself to love him and for him to love you. Laugh together, grow together, be patient with him … guys can be dumb, help him.

This weekend is FOR YOU. It’s time to DANCE! It’s time to LAUGH! It’s time to RELAX. Let’s dooo this  BESTIE ❤

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Wisdomist Wednesday : Hugs

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I’m a firm believer that so much can be expressed through simple gestures – a smile, waving to someone, saying good morning, a quick text message — seriously, as silly as it may sound, I know for a fact that it can turn someone’s day around.

That’s exactly how I feel about hugs. I know I’ve ranted on-and-on about how I’m stressed out lately with work and life in general. I’ve tried writing and giving myself pep-talks – there’s just something about a hug.

Comfort.

It’s not a solution to all problems, but it’s such an amazing band-aid.

I’m lucky that I surround myself with people that I actually want to hug – people that I believe deserve my hugs ( I don’t do anything special, my hugs are just warm .. .they mean something) When I’m giving you a hug , whether in person or a *hug* over text message, what I’m actually saying is

I love you

be proud of yourself – I’m proud of you

you’re winning life – even if you can’t see it right now

I’m here for you, all of you – the sweet – sassy and insane

And when people hug me, it stands for me letting my guard down – it’s me welcoming you into my space to either celebrate or commiserate. It’s me wanting comfort, understanding, acceptance, it’s a chance for me to release my emotions … it’s both a silent scream of excitement and me bawling for a release.

My ladies, my  mom, my dad and my amazing husband – whether in person, or electronically … I never want to stop hugging you.

Wisdomist Wednesday : Friends

I got a call last night

A good call – no need to worry!!

A familiar call .. I get this call pretty often – at least once a week.

And if not a call, a text message – a silly e-mail. Sometimes it’s not words – sometimes it’s a picture to make me laugh.

Sometimes is a song on my voice mail.

Sometimes it’s just a wink – or “xoxox”.

No matter what, it brings a smile to my face.

And reminds me that I seriously have the best friends in the world.

During the process of planning the wedding, besides the emotions of personal change I was feeling – one of my biggest fears was loosing touch with my friends. I thought the potential of not being able to talk as much, see each other as often or continuing to share our stupid jokes would all be blanketed by the new life I was about to begin ( Read: DRAMA QUEEN).

I was wrong.

Sort of …. Do I say my friends all the time? – nope.

Do we talk as often? – actually I think we talk more … we actually have STUFF to talk about now. Important stuff … like what we had for dinner … and lunch… and dessert. Not, he said – she said stuff.

Are there people that have kind of fallen out of my life – yep.

On purpose … nope.

As I get older ( you know, since I’m super close to be a geriatric … hello old age pension!!) I realize that having a million friends means nothing as close to at least having one amazing friend. I’ve also realized that friendship – is a relationship … ( I know, revolutionary stuff here!!) it takes 2 to make it work.

If I’m always calling you … I’m going to start to feel like I’m bothering you… and I’ll probably stop.

Just like, if you’re always calling me, and I’m making no effort – punch me.

Friends are pretty rad – hugs yours often, tell them you love them, make them laugh and if they’re really awesome – make them cookies and then hang out so you can scarf them down together.

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Be wisdomist this Wednesday my inter-web friends!!

Milkshake.

Remember when I could accurately call myself a food blogger, because I actually blogged about food. Ahh – those were the days. The days I where I felt connected to your happy faces, the days where I had a simple yet extra sweet escape from real life. I could come , frolic and play in icing, roll around in sprinkles and then, when I had my dose of sweetness, I could go back out there and take over the world.

One of my all-time favourite bloggers ( * cough – the wicked awesome amazingtastic joy) , did a post not too long ago where she mentioned the need for a safe word. This word would pretty much describe when life got nuts.

Genius.

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I need a safe word – – or a safety phrase. And so it shall be Milkshake. Is that a weird safety word? – here’s the logic I FREAKING LOVE Milkshakes, but too much of it always gives me both a brain freeze and a tummy ache. Kind of like when life gets bonkers …. I secretly love it … but too crazy results in me loosing my head … and well butterflies the size of titanic that may very well sink.
And trust me when I say …
MILKSHAKE
MILKSHAKE
MILK FREAKING SHAAAAKKKEE.
With a cherry on top … oh and whipped cream.

So why has my life been so crazy * Note: total vent session about to begin …. And probably lots of self-pep talking * ;

1. Work; There has been lots of changes in my office and I’m really just trying to stay afloat – I’m also secretly/not so secretly looking to change jobs. This happens all the time with me. Mama LTSL is convinced I have problems … in both a good way and a bad way. I just feel at my age and with all of the opportunities available to me – I have no reason to get comfortable in a job. Don’t be confused … all I mean is once I attain a certain level … I stick around for a while … leave my mark and then I’m ready to move on to bigger and better. Which is good right, I mean I want to be ambitious – – but HOLY MILK SHAKE WOMAN, is this is the time to shake the one stable thing in your life?!

2. Baking; it’s all been orders … I haven’t really done any leisurely baking … nor ice cream making. MILKSHAKE MILKSHAKE MILKSHAKE .. I love baking for my clients, but every now and again a girl wants one of her own peanut butter fudge cookies!! You don’t want the cookies, you want comfort – go workout and release your crazy vibes.

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3. Working out / being healthy; I try. It’s hard. Cookies are so much yummier than Fiber Simply Bars ( ps. Simply Bar people, I know you mean well – – but I’m not feeling it). I’ve been doing okay, I work out when I can … eat as best as I can, I just feel like it’s not enough. The plan of action is to join a gym– pretty soon. — Against the wishes of papa LTSL, brother LTSL, Mr. Fiancé & my darling angel. Buuutt … it’s happening. And they will probably yell at me … but I don’t think they get it – NO, I will not turn into a gym rat. I joked with Mr. Fiance, that he had two options … marry someone cute, fit and super sexy or honey boo – boos mom. He wasn’t impressed and I love honey boo boos mom. 1 word : schhhmexy.

4. Life’s general B/S – – family illness, friends in crappy situations, friends being crappy, me feeling crappy … in essence a whole lotta-crap. I want to either erase it all, make it all better or throw milkshake all over some people. Listen, stop focusing on this nonsense – – it’s all ( or at least most of it) drama drama drama. Save it. Pull yourself together, put on your power pumps and deal with life. Or hold your friends close, drink with them until your stupid and deal tomorrow …. Or, even better do all of the above; pumps.friends.drink. YEEESSS!!

5.Planning and engagement party; your family – my family – let’s make this happen. WHY AM I SUCH A CONTROL FREAK … why is your family so simple and mine SO STINKING COMPLEX … I love them – – to death, but holy moly MILKSHAKE people. It’s a get together – we’re not getting married. Come, listen, eat – – deal? I don’t care if your best friend’s sister’s uncle wants to come … I don’t know them.

FAMILY; that means I need to know who you are, where you live, your last name and how cool you are – – everyone else, let’s chat after. Also, there are still things to do for the actual day … printing a whole bunch of stuff, putting together bonbonnieres, finding a cute / appropriate outfit for Mama LTSL, and for brother LTSL , still gifts to buy and wrap – heeeelllllloooo t – two weeks. Cue freak out mode now!! … on a good note I finally insured, sized and cleaned my ring – wooo!!

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6.Planning a wedding: BRING OUT THE COW … I’m milkshaking to the moon and back … twice. Who knew planning a wedding would be such a roller coaster?!? It’s fun, great, exciting, nerve-racking, sad and scary. All at the same time. My world is shaking – but I’m going to be with the man of my dreams.

Am I too young to be doing this? – Am I too old to have an elaborate wedding? – do I do what we want? – or do we try to please everyone else and then do what we want later down the line if we renew our vows? – When do I order my dress? – Antipasto, and appetizers or just one? Cake, or cupcakes? Mid night buffet; sweet? Savory? Some of each? None at all. Ma ma mia!!

I’ve looked forward to our wedding day ever since I could remember. I knew quite early on in our relationship that this was it for me, either this kid was going to marry me… or if we ever broke up, I’d become a nun ( for those that know me personally … we know I won’t but still) Growing up, I would see people do certain things for their special day, I would hear a particular song, see a stunning dress or two and knew one day … my day would be perfect. I would gracefully glide down the aisle, see the man of my dreams – there would be flowers everywhere – we would be surrounded by the people we love most. It would be a breeze, everyone would get along, we would agree on every detail. The meal would be delicious, and just the right amount of food. My cake would be equally beautiful and delicious. It would be easy-peasy.

WAKE UP WOMAN! There are three major things you wanted to do in your life – – graduate university, buy a place of your own and get married. Let’s do a bit of a fact check. Graduating university … was that easy? No! Did you run into bumps, causing you to kick, scream and fight to get towards that end goal? YES! Buying your condo, was that a walk in the park – – negative, if anything it was one of the hardest things you went through. SO WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS DELICIOUS DID YOU THINK YOUR WEDDING WOULD BE ANY DIFFERENT?! Get with it lady!!

Sometimes I just want to sit and cry about this wedding, not because I’m getting married but just the overwhelming emotions I’ve attached to every aspect. I can’t even begin to explain how thankful I am that Mr. Fiancé is not just patient and understanding … but he hasn’t thrown me off a cliff – – yet. I attach emotion to anything I care about and this is no different at all. Sometimes, I wish I didn’t dream so big for this particular day … I wish I could just be satisfied with a simple ceremony… a small dinner… and then we live happily ever after. Instead, I want a beautiful ceremony with flowers, people laughing –pretty chairs – a great speeches – amazing meal- stunning décor – the perfect date – happy bridal party – a great party – a beautiful toast – a memorable first dance – did I mention a freaking great party, all while keeping everyone satisfied and content … and then we live happily ever after– oh, did I mention I also don’t want to lose my mind?!

I know everything will be fine, and the day will be perfect – it’s just getting there. And reminding myself to relax. Relax and enjoy every single moment of it … Mr. Fiance will only be my fiancé for a year – – after that he will be Mr. LTSL; my husband – I his wife :).

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7. Equally spending time with family/friends & Mr. Fiancé; This is important. Important to me, VERY important to me. But I need all three parts of my life to understand that even though I love them to death, and would run myself ragged trying to please them and see them … I can only be at one place at a time. And so shuffling between every facet has been fan-freaking-milkshaky. On a good note, when I do get to spend quality time with each of them it’s perfection.

8. Traveling … OH MY WORD; I totally went to Cuba and didn’t tell you good looking people. Great beach, great people … food – – mmm … yea, let’s focus on the beach!! Although, I since heard that we should have left the resort to each the best lobster of our lives … to be honest, we only ate resort food, so I suppose I can’t comment on the food. I’m also going to Trinidad soon … refer to #5. Did I mention that was in a totally different country?

On top of that, I’m starting back my masters in September, I want to start looking for a place for the Mr. and I to live post marriage and I’d like to sleep every now and again, be happy and still look cute ( side note: WELCOME FALL FASHION – – I.LOVE.YOU.).

High expectations of myself – of course. Do I feel like I have the world on my shoulders … sometimes. But I also know that I’m incredibly lucky and while I came here and MilkShak-ed around … the truth is, I really shouldn’t be complaining. But I am. And I’m over it. Except not really. But I will be soon.

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So, what was the point of all of this rambling … to let you know I’m still here … I miss you … I miss my kitchen … I needed to get it all out on paper … and now I want a milkshake *yum*

Stay sweet darlings, I’ll be back soon.

A letter to my Everyday – Forever – Valentines <3

Remember when you were in elementary school, and come valentines day you’d have your fancy self-made valentine mail box hanging proudly by your desk or cubbie?
Remember being so excited to get those little cards, some chocolates and if you were lucky that cute boy you were eyeing hoping he would hold your hands under the slide at recess would come to your desk .. and oh so slyly pop a store bought valentine into your folder.

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Be honest. You melted.
Valentines day … it shouldn’t be a celebration of love day – but a feel good day.
And so, I want to brighten the day of my Everyday- Forever- Valentines with a little letter.

This group of people, form my list of loves. Whether friends, family, or that cute boy I’m hoping that will hold my hand until we’re old and crazy together. I want them to know that I love them. I thank them for dealing with my senile ways … and remind them that I celebrate what they mean to me not just today but everyday.

Today, just seems like a good day to let them know ❤

 

❤ My Favourite Girl in the World : Mama LTSL. You are everything and anything I could ever want to be. You’re truly probably the only one who knows me inside out and I love you more than anything else in the world. I love each moment we get to laugh together, cry, complain. I love it all. You make every day, something kind of special. Your my best friend, my heart and my everything. As things and life begin to change, as I enter a new phase in my life – I want us to remain a constant. I want us to be able to celebrate the good, bad and down right rediculous. You’re my superwoman, and I admire every inch of your being. You’re kind of major and I’m only the person you see today, because of you xoxox

❤ My VeryBari : Lady, I can’t even begin to explain the role you play in my life. I love you to bits, it’s your honesty – your willingness to live life each and every day for what it’s worth. It’s the fact that you wear your heart on your sleeve and you’re not afraid to have a damn good time. At the beginning of this year, we knew 2013 was going to be something fantastic and I’m SO STINKIN pumped to be sharing every moment of the next couple months with you. I love you and can’t thank you enough for being who you are. I love you for loving me, the real me – no strings attached, no preconceived notions, or no sort of act needed … the real me. Thank you for every laugh, every late night talk, each drink, thank you for all our moments that we will never forget and the nights we will never remember xoxo

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❤ My Angel : Panda. There’s a reason I call you my angel. You keep me sane. You make me laugh, when all I want to do is run away from real life and join the circus. I can’t even count the amount of times you’ve bailed me out of a stupid situation — I also probably can’t count the amount of times those stupid situations were because of our messed up antics. Thank you for being my soundboard, my live, my best friend and the sister I never had growing up. In the strangest of ways, you are my sweet escape – on the best days, you’re there with open arms ready to celebrate with me – and on the worst of days, you’re there to celebrate how screwed up life can be. I love you a million billion times over and no matter how busy life may get, no matter how much things may change I want you to know, that in the end ” it will always be us” 😉 We’ve seen over a decade of laughs, tears, wanting to rip each other’s hair out and celebrating. I can’t only hope that nothing changes. ever. Like I’ve said a dozen times, I need you in my life. Forever. xoxo

❤ My Mango-ness: To me, you’re lady love herself. You believe in that happily ever after – forever – no matter what. And I need that. I need that reminder that there’s so much good in the world.You’re just that for me, you are the good in the world. You too wear your heart on your sleeve and I wouldn’t change a thing. To be honest, all of the main people in my life play a different role – and our relationship is quite different than the ones I have with the other girls. You set the stepping stone for many milestones I’m yet to accomplish. I look up to you for guidance based on your experience with ‘being an adult’  and knowing how to handle when shit hits the fan ( can I use that kind of language on this blog? … sorry.) I love you for exactly who you are are you hope for everyone’s happily ever after. Yes, together we’ve seen each other at the top of our game and hit rock bottom … but, we’ve made it and I think that says a lot. I know we have the rest of our lives to look forward to – and you get me excited about each minute of it … thank you xox

❤ My Kiwi-licious: Giiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrllll … I love you because you’re ghetto fabulous 😉 I actually love you for so much more than the fact that you’re ghetto-fab. I love you because you accept me for who I am, no matter what. I never have to have a rhyme or reason for my actions, or thoughts. You support me and my decisions no matter what. You’re kind of amazing … but I don’t want that to get to your head :p I love you for your sense of commitment to living out your dreams and the fact that I can talk smack with you / about you … but at the end of the day, nothing else matters but your friends and family. You inspire me to be the best me possible. You’re my constant reminder to stay focused on making myself happy, before I can make anyone else happy. I love you lady, I’ll love you to the end of time. You reassure me, that no matter what … looking past the roller coaster ride of life, at the end of the day … my quota is all I have. You’re irreplaceable. xoxo

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❤ My Mr. Sweep Me off My feet – rock my world with every heat beat: I love you. Simple. Plain. And everything I could ever dream, wish and ask for. Here’s to our forever – our once upon a time and happily ever after all in one. What we have, people dream of … it’s priceless. It’s real. It’s my wildest dreams come true and I promise you, it will never change. I love you to the moon and back … twice.

Happy Valentines day everyone, tell everyone who means anything to you – that you love them today

xox

It’s a VeryBari Birthday!!

Happy Birthday VeryBari!!

We’re celebrating another birthday for this month – – it’s VERYBARI’s birthday!! *woooo-hooooo* I would have to say, Miss. VeryBari is one of my newest of friends, only becoming close in the last couple years. But she’s one of those people you can’t help fall in love with.

She’s sassy – sexy – smart and has a shoe closet that would put Carrie Bradshaw to shame.

I love this little lady, and though she’s the most recent addition to our group of women I feel like I’ve known her forever. Her smile could fix the worst of days, her giggle is contagious – she’s as cute as a button and if I could, I would hand her the world.

She’s fun – and relatable. My favourite thing about my VeryBari is the fact that she’s real – she’s not there to gossip, or create any sort of confusion. Her simple mission is to lead an honest life – she sets out to enjoy every day, laugh as much as possible and leave her mark on the world.

With her, I don’t have to be anyone – – no mask needed, I don’t need to be the responsible one – or the funny one – – or the smart one. I can just be me – – without judgement. Ever. I feel safe with her; I’m comfortable with her knowing my entire life story, because after our discussion … it ends there.

She makes me proud to know such a strong, independent woman with values and morals that no one can shake. Through our friendship, she has taught me so much!! She convinces me to trust myself, to love myself and allow people to love me. She’s a constant reminder that even when things seem to be in the pooper, there’s ice cream waiting to cheer us up, hugs work wonders and your true friends would never leave you hanging.  

It’s true Miss. VeryBari, you’re one smart cookie 😉 and I am so lucky to know you.

Already, we’ve had some CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY times together – – moments that I wouldn’t trade in a lifetime. I thank you for it all – – but I know this is just the beginning. I know we have a forever of laughing, of traveling together, of partying and a lifetime of memories to make. It’s the crazy times that reassure me we’re in for the long run kiddo.

Please know, that I adore you – I respect you and I’m proud of the young woman you are.

Happy Birthday my dear, I wish you everything good in the world – the best of health – happiness – and an endless supply of cake (call me anytime, I’ll always have one on standby for you 😀 )

Xoxo